Poonam Talkies

to do or not to do – especially after I do | August 12, 2010

My passport expires early next year and I am in the process of getting it renewed. While I was at it, I thought why not change the name in the passport to my husband’s last name at the same time. I started filling out all the forms and I was surprised how upset I was when I filled that new name out in the application form. Yes, I use that name on my Orkut page/Facebook Page/GTalk display name all the time, but somehow the fact of always writing that name as my official name and signing it that way felt like I was leaving myself and was a new person. In some ways, I am new person – with all the bells and whistles that come with marriage and having a kid. I love my husband, my daughter and felt that we should have a common last name. Unofficially, I do. But officially I don’t. Would it be so bad to keep it that way?

What did you do? Did you change your name post marriage? Is it easier to do it right after when you are in the post-marriage bliss and things happen in a blur anyways? I thought of hyphenating our last names, but then, what would my middle name be? My name, husband’s name, maiden name-husband’s last name seemed kind of odd. And damn it, my last name is anyways 8 letters and adding a hyphen and five more puts it dangerously close to being out of space on most forms!

Maybe I will repeat this exercise some day and have the courage to go through with it. I wonder how women felt when their first names were changed too! I shudder to think!


Posted in family


  1. here is what i wrote ages ago on my blog:
    I changed mine last year “officially” when passport came for renewal. I love my husband and all – but it feels odd! It just does. Sometimes I wish I had never done it – but when the kid comes along and knowing how bright they are these days – i don’t want questions like – mom why are you the outcast with no common name with me and dad:-)

    Comment by Minal — August 14, 2010 @ 7:18 pm

    • Oh, where were you when I was filling those forms! I looked for you online to bounce this issue off you! I hear ya about the kiddo asking about why I have a different last name which is why I wanted to do it. I think you did the First Name Maiden Name-Husband’s Last Name right?

      Comment by poonamtalkies — August 14, 2010 @ 8:13 pm

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